Healthy Dating: Guide to Preventing Date Rape

The Department of Safety and Security has noted an increase in date-related sexual assaults, particularly in the greater Portland area. This guide, borrowed from Security on Campus Inc., a nationally recognized source for campus-related safety information for students, is a helpful guide for men and women, particularly those away from home for the first time. Remember, it's natural to want to make friends and be accepted by others. Be careful. Always maintain situational awareness and develop healthy relationships.

Women   Men
     
Beware of possible implied obligations for sex if a man appears interested in you, and offers to buy you a drink.   Be interested in women because you are truly interested, not as a means to getting sex.
     
At parties, mix your own drinks. At bars, watch when a bartender makes your drink. Use alcohol responsibly. 80 to 90 % of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol and/or drugs. You are more at risk. Don't accept a drink from a stranger, even if you are somewhat familiar with the person. Don't leave your drink unattended.   Do not use alcohol as a means to increase the likelihood of sex. Make sure that non-alcoholic beverages are available. If you see a woman in trouble at a party, don't be afraid to intervene.
     
Know that sex is not a male entitlement. You can say "no" at any time.   Know that sex is not a male entitlement. It's safer and better to ask.
     
Beware of men who are hostile if you say no, who threaten, bully, or try to control you, try to make you feel guilty, accuse you of being uptight, put you down, or talk negatively about women.   Never force, pressure or coerce anyone to have sex. Don't take silence as consent. Don't make or laugh at degrading jokes about women. Challenge abusive behavior when you witness it.
     
If you feel pressured, afraid, or uncomfortable, leave, get help, or protest loudly. Keep an eye on each other at parties.   If you see a woman in trouble at a party, don't be afraid to intervene.
     
Be clear about your desires, limits and expectations. Ask and tell.   Be clear about your desires, limits, and expectations. Ask. Tell. No secret agenda. NO LIES!
     
Don't listen to persuasion. You don't have to give reasons. Be assertive. State clearly what you want and do not want. Do not be afraid to set limits.   NO MEANS NO!! Don't try to persuade or argue. Respect her "No" whether it is verbal or physical. Stop.
     
Consent to some sexual activity (kissing, touching, etc.) does NOT imply consent to all kinds of sexual activity.   Consent to some sexual activity (kissing, touching, etc.) does NOT imply consent to all kinds of sexual activity.
     
Many women are in denial about what rape is. Get clear.   Many men are in denial about what rape is. Get clear.
     
Threats, force and coercion make it rape.   Threats, force and coercion make it rape.
     
Getting drunk does not make rape OK. If you are too drunk to say no, it's rape, automatically.   Don't have sex with someone who is too drunk to make responsible decisions, has passed out, or is asleep. Legally, it's rape.
   
UNE Activities
     

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